I'm going to preface this by saying this is likely to ramble and be a bit on the serious side, so forgive me if it takes me a while to get to the point or if I sound ranty.
I started thinking about SDCC and all the cool people going and the folks I'll get to meet and I realized that, while I'm excited, I'm also really nervous.
I'm worried that the real life version of me won't fit people's vision of the online version and, more to the point, I'm nervous about being judged. I'm worried that all the geek boys out there who think I'm just adorable and hawt online are going to decide that the real of me is...totally not.
I'm asking myself why I worry. It's not that I'm socially inept or anything. I'm pretty much the same personality online and off. I flirt, I play, I enjoy people and I'm pretty darn fun and interesting.
But this year, I'm tentative. I just hate the idea that I think this way or that it may have some validity.
Megan Fox, you ask? Yep. Megan Fox. See, I'm not Megan Fox. Not by a long shot. I'm a regular gal, plus sized and barely topping 5'4. I fall over in heels and, while I have a great cleavage (as some of you know ::grin::) the general male public wouldn't pay loads of money to watch me in a movie even if it sucked.
It's not that I've ever wanted for relationships. I've just been the girl who wooed the boys with my mind and personality instead of my looks. And, once they're wooed, they stay wooed. ::grin:: Quite happily.
My point? What am I trying to say? I know, I'm skirting the issue. So, I'll just say it and damn the torpedoes.
You're a guy, you lust after Megan Fox. But what would you do with her if you had her? (Well, besides knocking boots?) Is it about status and having a hot babe on your arm? Do you think she's be remotely interesting to talk to?
And if you meet a girl who's not a hottie, but has a "great personality" (ooooh, the kiss of death), is intelligent, fun, geeky and smart -- would you be disappointed that she's not Megan Fox?
That's what I'm worried about. I'm worried about being judged or mocked are teased.
And it bugs me that I'm worried.